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Don’t Withdraw…Because His Touch Brings Life.
Another semester! Yes it’s exciting! It’s great to see familiar faces again and meeting new ones, God is greatly blessing me and teaching me new things. One thing that I’m really learning practically is the value of blessings. The Lord gives us so much and we fall into two sides often… the eternally grateful and the ones who take these blessing for granted. We will almost always be on both sides of the fence at some point in our lives. Both sides will teach us very much, but we always want to stay on the “grateful” side because it keeps life fresh and beautiful. But I’m definitely learning that these gifts are nothing compared to the giver. I always knew that in my heart, but there’s times when you don’t really feel required to hold on to that to reassure you and to encourage you to keep going. God has been giving me many oppurtunities in my career, friendships and some other simpler things that I cherish, but when it comes down to it… none of these things satisfy me. Upon a new realization of an upcoming oppurtunity I realized that if it came to fruition, I would not be satisfied in it by itself. That really hit me. Because I work very hard, and often times it seems like I feel a sense of entitlement to a reward… That’s pride, and that is shameful. I become far too attached to things that are temporal at times. Temporal does not apply only to material things, but to our status, happiness, image, even our goals in life. If I look to a goal to fulfill me, when I reach it, I will realize that it isn’t eternal and cannot sustain me. My goals didn’t save my soul, and they can’t make my life any more valuable than it is. God gives value… my aspirations don’t. My soul is often conflicted by this… I ask God to help me to see Him for what He is. And this is where the blessings help me. Where I often was wrong was in looking at the blessings for what they were and pretending to be satisfied in that… that was a blatant lie to myself. When I see my blessings I must be thankful and acknowledge that the GOD who gave them to me is infinitely greater than His greatest blessing. I need to allow the blessings to heighten my focus and not become my focus. Something I realize however.. is that I am withdrawing a little bit… The Lord has brought things to my heart that I need to work on. I have been “this close” to ruining friendships and hurting people, and God has shown me my need to run back to Him and stop “searching”… for what? Like I even know… The reality is, I am always searching for God… we all are… but at times the winds blow really hard and we might get a little shaken off of our path and we still have God on our mind… we just kinda end up walking the wrong way. Psalm 119:105 “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path!” His word is the only thing that will keep me on track and in a constant state of gratitude. His blessings are a result of love, my reaction should be out of love as well. One of my favorite artists seems to summarize where I have been and where I am coming from in my life. “I’m not going to be content, until I find gratitude… I use my veins to create the color I paint from, delve into my self until my heart becomes my paint brush! I told my mama ‘I’m not stopping until my name’s up!’ Thinking those comments on that blog is gonna save us! Searching for everything but GOD to validate ya’. Get insecure and then we start blaming the haters. I used to look to women to fill a part of me that was vacant, truth was the only thing that I ever used in moderation! So I stare into this paper instead of sitting at a cubicle, take all the ugly [stuff] inside and try to make it beautiful. Use the cement from rock bottom and make it musical, so the people can relate to where I’ve been, where I’m goin, what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard, from the guts! [Forget] the glory! Just a person on a porch putting it all into a recording. Many of my past and many that came before me, I just keep walking my path and blessed to share my story!” -Macklemore God has brought me a long way… and He’s bringing me even closer to Him… I just need to keep walking his path. So yeah… I just needed to write that… I don’t blog too much unless I have something to say because I really feel that I shouldn’t say much if there’s no reason other than to just merely get attention. But I feel that maybe someone reading this might relate or maybe even do some soul searching to see if they can relate, and if there is anything God might be ministering to them about. 5 notes:
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